It took me a day to figure out my bearings between Zen and devastation, but I am miraculously still alive after the US Open men’s final. You just learn not to sweat the small stuff – marriage (boo hoo!), Roland Garros, Wimbledon, Grand Slams record, Career Slam, World Number 1, fatherhood; everything else is icing [...]
Entries Tagged as ‘Darkest before the dawn’
May 14, 2009
Suzie Q.
I realised that nothing prepares you for death, not even when you know it’s coming in the midst of the drawn-out process of cancer.
My aunt passed away on Saturday morning – the grief is unexplainable; more painful than any heartbreak I have borne. I keep thinking that this is Auntie Susan – the one who always [...]
March 28, 2009
Calling
Am I suppose to experience fear? It throws off the equilibrium I have carefully arranged, not to mention everything I have held close to my heart.
March 14, 2009
No apologies, no regrets
And to say it like it is… Although I almost always choose to curse silently.
It comes across as an excuse for bad behaviour, only because I am shamelessly turning it on its head. But I do feel that I need one – an excuse; a reason, justification; whatever – for the way I am disabling my [...]
March 5, 2009
Pandora’s box
Why I lose control I do not know.
My inner demons will unleash themselves, throwing me into the black hole which my own hands have dug.
March 4, 2009
Strike three
Fudge:
This dog-eat-dog world.
The colossal space that separates us.
Fate.
My noxious delayed reaction.
The Slumdog Millionaire OST.
The L Word, S06E07.
Half-baked efforts.
The misled priorities of the young.
My premature thesis-related anxiety.
My natural inclination to procrastinate.
February 26, 2009
On shaky ground
When reality hits with such severity, it takes an elephantine effort to believe in better times ahead, especially for a hopeless pessimist like yours truly. Normally one who is continually enamoured with Barack Obama, I cannot help but pay attention to what the critics have to say this time.
February 21, 2009
Parting is such sweet sorrow…
… That I shall say good night till it be morrow.
For four years now, leaving Singapore is infinitely worse than saying farewell to Sydney.
February 12, 2009
Do not disturb
What is this? Why is this happening? Where do I go from here? What do I do? Who have I become?
February 2, 2009
Be still my heart
If I had ever known such sadness to experience the agony of defeat…
Roger Federer causes my heart to stop in the same way he makes me swoon, then soar higher still. But because what goes up must come down, it can also shatter – the greater heights to which you fly, the stronger force with which you fall.
Despite this overwhelming heartbreak, it [...]
