I am going to hand in my Honours dissertation tomorrow, effectively completing my university education. It’s surreal, bittersweet… You name it, I feel it. In my writing, at several moments, I remembered you. Taken from my thesis acknowledgements:

My supervisor, Dr. Rebecca Suter, who has been simply indispensable in the past year – my sincerest thanks and deepest appreciation for your unceasing patience, graciousness and optimism, as well as your valued tutelage and guidance in and outside of this Honours programme. Having you as a supervisor has been a joy, indeed. Domo arigato, sensei.

Davina and Tina, my partners in crime during this pivotal stage of our lives – as we near the end of the different phases of our university education, having still kept our sanity, I am reminded of how much your companionship has meant to me. Thank you for the study sessions, text messages and cups of coffee throughout the year (not forgetting the previous three); all of which have given me the encouragement and energy to press on.

Jessie, Rosa, Preethi, William, David and Elizabeth – all blessed with analytical minds and wonderful personalities, whose corresponding journeys have been a great source of support. I hope our paths will cross in the future.

Ernest, Eliss and my cell members – I have never witnessed more generosity and willingness of heart, nor have I experienced a dull moment with you. Thank you for the laughs on the weekend and your prayers during the week. Keep in touch!

Kay-Lene, my dearest and ever-present ‘old same’ – thank you for sympathising; for listening to my gripes; and for not holding it against me when I do not have the time to hear yours. I am more grateful for you than I am able to express.

Gerard and Amy, my encyclopaedias and voices of reason – thank you for the sage advice you have dispensed, even before I undertook this thesis project.

Roger F., excellence personified – to me, he is the archetype of hard work and strength of mind.

My parents and siblings, for your unconditional love – words are not enough to convey my indebtedness to the affirmation you have shown in my choices.

Last but not least, my Almighty God – the comfort during my most uninspired days and my beacon in the darkest of circumstances. You have never left my side.

So, I said I would write with my left hand this year…

I thought I’d reserve such acts of tough love for my siblings, but Joachim is like the brother I actually have, who is a pain in my neck in equal measure:

1. Quite an obvious fact, but he loves The Outsiders.
2. Another oldie he likes is Great Teacher Onizuka.
3. His grammar is questionable – who leaves a space between the last word and an exclamation or question mark?
4. He and I made a pact to get together if both of us were single in December 2006 (it didn’t happen). In hindsight, what were we thinking?
5. He’s been a fan of Rafael Nadal for almost as long as I’ve been supporting Roger Federer – I’m assuming he became one to piss me off.
6. Sometimes, he forgets that he’s a guest in my house when we watch Federer and Nadal play – he is ruthless and unabashed with his cheers and I’ve threatened to kick him out several times.
7. He and Christopher bet on tennis matches – Joachim is ahead, because they forget to wager on the ones that Federer wins.
8. Joachim and I are meant to be rivals – we rooted for different finalists in the first season of Singapore Idol. Again, what were we thinking?
9. To wit, he was behind London (I wanted Paris) in the bid for the 2012 Olympic Games – we know which country won.
10. He is the only person for whom I would eat purple potatoes.
11. One of the three cakes I’ve made in my lifetime was for his 17th birthday.
12. He can be (uncharacteristically?) sentimental – until a few months ago, he frequently wore a band I got for him from Cambodia.
13. He has a crush on… Yeah, she knows.
14. The first time we spoke was on Maundy Thursday in 2004.
15. A significant part of our friendship was built over roti prata.
16. I used to call him ‘Milo Boy’, but I cannot remember why.
17. We once spent 40 minutes in Orchard Road pointing out people whom we thought were attractive… And agreed on none.
18. He has a big heart.
19. He’s smart and cool – he received an award for his outstanding grades in Mass Communication and he can play the drums.
20. A message from him makes my day, as he says the craziest things. Most recently, he commented that I look like Federer in the birthday video I did (WTF, right?) – it was either a jab at my nose or hair, and not because of my awesome tennis skills.
21. He turns 21 today – HAPPY COMING-OF-AGE!

I realised that nothing prepares you for death, not even when you know it’s coming in the midst of the drawn-out process of cancer.

My aunt passed away on Saturday morning – the grief is unexplainable; more painful than any heartbreak I have borne. I keep thinking that this is Auntie Susan – the one who always made me feel good about myself; the one who loved me like her own; the one with two wonderful children, whom I greatly admire; the one who I look forward to seeing during Chinese New Year; the one who gave the best Christmas presents; the one who performed many acts of generosity; the coool and fun one. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss or remember her; also present is this anger that He took her too soon.

But this is the same Auntie Susan with the unwavering faith, who, in spite of the circumstances, found reasons to praise God. She is still teaching me to believe in His almighty love and grace.

Susan Quay, you rocked my world.

So enjoy and treasure every minute of it, as we should – 24 hours to celebrate 24 years. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABS!

Because I thrive on these moments when I can embarrass my brother… And while he waits for the actual present to make its way to his part of Asia-Pacific:

1. Cheeseball Toadbrains is his alter ego (Vanessa is Squeazit; I am Goober).
2. He is also known as Brandon Thirsty.
3. He had three girlfriends in kindergarten.
4. And we named a lizard in our house after one of them.
5. He has a wonderful sense of humour – it constantly disarms me.
6. He groped a mannequin’s backside when he was four.
7. His Chinese is worse than mine.
8. In primary school, he gave himself a haircut that was uneven, ridiculous and too short – Mum could not salvage it.
9. He slouches.
10. He physically abuses me!
11. Most of the time, he lives like a prince.
12. He can operate our washing machine, which is knowledge I have not grasped.
13. He is a prefect in ACS – could he be more different from his siblings?
14. As a child, he walked around the house without any clothes on, like it was no big deal.
15. He used to be afraid of watching Scooby-Doo.
16. He celebrates his birthday today – HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN!

22 pieces of information about Vanessa - some embarrassing, some astute, some rather meh; all are true:

1. She has a crush on James Franco.
2. It is safe to assume that she likes ‘em scruffy, to the point of unkept.
3. She is a History whiz.
4. The extent of her untidiness parallels my degree of fastidiousness.
5. I only look like the older sister; she is, without question, more disciplined, sensible and level-headed.
6. She constantly makes me look bad with her frugality and well-maintained nails.
7. She takes her guitar lessons seriously, as with everything else.
8. Despite never having a boyfriend, she gives surprisingly profound relationship advice.
9. She has almost unreachable expectations of the opposite sex.
10. She tends to exaggerate, or leave out important nuances, when she tells her friends about my zany behaviour.
11. She does not eat beef and rarely consumes carbohydrates.
12. We used to have eruptive arguments, often addressing unrelated issues, mainly because we never back down and hold out with “I’m not going to let you have the last word”.
13. She answers to ‘Poo-Neh’ – try it.
14. When our family joins a holiday tour group, she is always the first person to make friends with the other members.
15. She loves Las Vegas for its sleaze.
16. The excessive amount of perfume she uses fumigates our bedroom every morning.
17. She has an eclectic taste in music.
18. The only time she is louder and more vulgar than me is when Roger Federer is playing.
19. She has a wide range of facial expressions, most of them laughable.
20. Her ears are susceptible to infection.
21. Before I underwent LASIK in July 2008, she was the only one in our family who did not suffer from severe myopia.
22. She turns 22 today – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

For the inconsequential age (I kid – being over the hill is very momentous) and the black woman that resides in this Peranakan girl…

Sometimes, I think you are in my life to push me to my limits of just how much silliness I can tolerate. Then I remember that, out of all the people with whom Kay-Lene has ‘broadened my world’, I am most thankful for you.

… To make a world.

I am an overwhelming ‘C’ – conscientious to a certain extent, but critical to a fault. And because of my natural reflex to leave no stone unturned, the glass is always half-empty.

It was far less excruciating than expected. I asked questions; I did not give monosyllabic answers; I continued conversation – all surpassing my usual amount of friendliness. She is genuine, not to mention completely oozing with CHIJ-ness. All plus points; nothing to worry about.

Then again, considering my habit of seeing the worst in every situation… ENOUGH LYING, CHEESEBALL!

According to my scale of WTF (1 being the most puzzling):

1. Christopher cannot eat rice when there is food that requires him to use both hands, like shelled prawns – he does not like a sticky spoon.
2. Christopher eats sweets two at a time, so he will, whenever possible, have an even number left over.
3. Christopher and Gerard must have the television volume at even numbers, except ‘5′, ‘15′, ‘25′, et cetera.
4. Vanessa’s friend (and my old running ‘rival’) arranges her books symmetrically.
5. When I accidentally hit two keys at the same time, I will restart my laptop.
6. I only use coloured toothpaste, so washing away remnants is easier.
7. Kay-Lene has a painstaking system of naming songs and singers in iTunes.
8. I must stir my drinks counter-clockwise.
9. Christopher and I put great effort into ensuring things are parallel and perpendicular.
10. My hangers must be approximately equidistant from one another (no surprise there).