A brand of affection

22 pieces of information about Vanessa – some embarrassing, some astute, some rather meh; all are true:

1. She has a crush on James Franco.
2. It is safe to assume that she likes ’em scruffy, to the point of unkept.
3. She is a History whiz.
4. The extent of her untidiness parallels my degree of fastidiousness.
5. I only look like the older sister; she is, without question, more disciplined, sensible and level-headed.
6. She constantly makes me look bad with her frugality and well-maintained nails.
7. She takes her guitar lessons seriously, as with everything else.
8. Despite never having a boyfriend, she gives surprisingly profound relationship advice.
9. She has almost unreachable expectations of the opposite sex.
10. She tends to exaggerate, or leave out important nuances, when she tells her friends about my zany behaviour.
11. She does not eat beef and rarely consumes carbohydrates.
12. We used to have eruptive arguments, often addressing unrelated issues, mainly because we never back down and hold out with “I’m not going to let you have the last word”.
13. She answers to ‘Poo-Neh’ – try it.
14. When our family joins a holiday tour group, she is always the first person to make friends with the other members.
15. She loves Las Vegas for its sleaze.
16. The excessive amount of perfume she uses fumigates our bedroom every morning.
17. She has an eclectic taste in music.
18. The only time she is louder and more vulgar than me is when Roger Federer is playing.
19. She has a wide range of facial expressions, most of them laughable.
20. Her ears are susceptible to infection.
21. Before I underwent LASIK in July 2008, she was the only one in our family who did not suffer from severe myopia.
22. She turns 22 today – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!