The age of uninnocence

Because I thrive on these moments when I can embarrass my brother… And while he waits for the actual present to make its way to his part of Asia-Pacific:

1. Cheeseball Toadbrains is his alter ego (Vanessa is Squeazit; I am Goober).
2. He is also known as Brandon Thirsty.
3. He had three girlfriends in kindergarten.
4. And we named a lizard in our house after one of them.
5. He has a wonderful sense of humour – it constantly disarms me.
6. He groped a mannequin’s backside when he was four.
7. His Chinese is worse than mine.
8. In primary school, he gave himself a haircut that was uneven, ridiculous and too short – Mum could not salvage it.
9. He slouches.
10. He physically abuses me!
11. Most of the time, he lives like a prince.
12. He can operate our washing machine, which is knowledge I have not grasped.
13. He is a prefect at ACS – could he be more different from his siblings?
14. As a child, he walked around the house without any clothes on, like it was no big deal.
15. He used to be afraid of watching Scooby-Doo.
16. He celebrates his birthday today – HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN!